Humor for Lexophiles ( for Lovers of Words) and for the rest of us who never knew we did!.

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting
bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a day care where a
three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole
left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

5. The short fortune teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.

6. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve
months.

7. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U. C. L. A

8. The math professor went crazy with the
blackboard. He did a number on it!

9. The professor discovered that her theory of
earthquakes was on shaky ground.

10. The dead batteries were given out free of
charge.

11. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth
and nail.

12. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is just two-
tired.

13. A will is a dead giveaway.

14. A backward poet writes inverse.

15. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in
motion.

16. With her marriage she got a new name
and a dress.

17. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France,
resulted in linoleum blown apart.

18. He broke into song because he couldn't
find the key.

19. A calendar's days are numbered.

20. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

21. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in
Seine.

22. When she saw her first strands of gray
hair, she thought she'd dye.

23. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead
to know basis.

24. When fish are in schools they sometimes
take debate.

25. A guy who fell into an upholstery machine
was fully recovered.

26. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round
table was Sir Cumference.